Jack and the Beanstalk (New and Improved)

This was written by Neeraja, my daughter, many years ago.
Hope you enjoy it as much as I did and still do.

**New and Improved**JACK AND THE BEANSTALK

Once upon a time, not so long ago,

There lived Jack, his Ma, and their cow Mo.

Jack's Ma, being a gambler, was prone to being broke,

And one such time when it happenned, she chanced upon this bloke

Who gave her the marvellous idea of selling her old cow.

She thought it a brilliant plan, and how.

She called Jack and told him sternly,

"You better sell our cow, and for good money".

The next day Jack, his car, and his cow

Left the village for the market next town.

The next week Jack returned

And saw his mum playing solitaire cards upturned.

"Mum!"he cried "Are you alright?"

"The cards are turned the other side".

She said,"Forget about me for now"

"How much did you get for our cow?"

He said " I don't think you could ever make,

A better deal than I just made"

He proudly held for Ma to see

A large bunch of green, weird leaves.

She cried "You dimwitted, useless clump,

What do I do with a weedy clump?"

"Mum, just light it up and take a puff,

One go at it ain't enough"

She found out soon that he was right.

She would love to smoke it through the night.

The next day, the weeds, hard won,

Were planted by Ma at break of sun.

Soon, news spread about Jack's magic weed

That gave you all the kick you need.

Its sales grew, and grew alright,

Jack became a millionaire almost overnight.

But the initial success of Jack and Ma

Hit a hurdle before going too far.

The police heard of"this marvellous high"

and the "weed which can kick you sky high"

They told Jack"I doubt it is legal

If it is, then I'm a sea-gull"

Jack, being quick of thought,

Realised profit lay beyond the law.

He gave the police a piece of his mind.

They left the town, left nothing behind.

They all made a quick, hasty dash,

Turned by the call of cold hard cash.

Thus goes the tale of Jack.

Of whom all that remains is his old shack,

In some place far far away,

Where his descendants live to retell the lay.